Coronavirus Scotland: Glasgow family pleads for care home visiting times to be extended during pandemic

Louise Lang and Lorraine Smith can only see their 94-year-old mother, Doreen Lang, at her care home in Giffnock once a week for just 30 minutes due to current coronavirus restrictions.

The sisters, who grew up in Carmunnock, have described their mother’s condition as going “rapidly downhill” as they say the family connection is being lost. 

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The siblings are calling on the Scottish Government for an urgent extension on care home visits as they believe current arrangements are damaging the mental and emotional wellbeing of their mother after she was prescribed anti-depressants. 

Louise said: “Her ability to communicate over the phone has been completely lost because she can’t hear. When we see her outside at the visits, we’re two meters apart from her and we’ve got masks on. I could be speaking and she will be looking at my sister. 

“It’s a half-hour snapshot that only happens once a week and it’s completely pointless. It’s futile and just not long enough. 

“It’s heartbreaking and just becoming harder and harder at every single half-hour visit with her.”

At the end of each weekly, the family face the heartache of seeing Doreen break down into tears at their separation. 

Louise added: “She smiles when we arrive, then we spend around 20 minutes screaming and shouting over the two-meter distance trying to have a conversation with her then we have to start preparing to leave. 

“We start blowing our kisses and waving to her and it devastates her, she just asks, “already, is that time up already?” then she is wheeled away. It just feels criminal.

“She just looks so forlorn and so sad. It’s almost like the carers and nurses have become her family.”

Before the coronavirus pandemic, Louise and Lorraine would pay daily visits to the care home to see Doreen. Her daughters fear the abrupt change of routine has had a profound effect on her mental and physical wellbeing as she now weighs 20lbs less than what she did pre-lockdown.

“I think her health condition has halted her ability to process things and communicate clearly with people which will be making her feel a lot more isolated. Anti-depressants might help, but it is utterly tragic that at the age of 94, she is being prescribed this drug because of social isolation,” said Louise. 

“I feel in a permanent state of anxiety and frustration. I wake up in the morning and mum is my first thought and then she’s my last thought before I go to sleep - if I sleep. I worry about her constantly and I miss her dreadfully.

“I feel like we are already grieving for her and she’s still here.”

In October, Doreen slipped into a coma. Louise and Lorraine were told by consultants that she wouldn’t make it through the evening so they were given direct contact to say their goodbyes. In an unexpected turn of events, Doreen aroused from her coma and recovered.

Louise said: “When mum was in hospital and in a coma where we were told by three different consultants that she was going to pass, that was the first time we had been able to hold her hand and talk to her properly.

“I couldn’t stop touching her, I was wearing a mask but I was able to kiss her head, hold her hand and stroke her hair. I couldn’t let go of her and she didn’t even know we were there. 

“Have we literally got to wait before our loved ones are dying before we can hold their hand again? Time is running out rapidly for families across Scotland to spend that one-to-one contact with their loved ones. Why do we need to wait until they are on their deathbed before we can get it?”

The family argue Scottish Government visiting advice to elderly care homes has been “inconsistent” throughout the coronavirus pandemic and are urging the authority to establish clarity on the restrictions.

Louise concluded: “The government keeps putting forward different suggestions and changes without taking into consideration how unique each care home is in Scotland.

Even though the government could ease the rules tomorrow, a care home in Glasgow may not have enough staff to facilitate that change. 

“Christmas then comes in as a completely separate issue in the grand scheme of things. I just want families to be able to sit with their loved ones and spend precious time with them.

“The reality is, is that the only way we are going to be able to get close with our mum is if she is at the end of her life. It shouldn’t be that way.”

Age Scotland’s Chief Executive, Brian Sloan, described the family’s situation as “desperately sad” as he joined their calls for visits to be extended. 

He said: “This is a desperately sad situation and we understand the family’s concern about the detrimental impact on their mother’s health. People living with dementia can be especially reliant on contact with family and friends, and many are now struggling to understand why their visits are limited and often feel isolated and abandoned.

“Sadly this case is far from unique. Care home residents and their families have been among those hardest hit by the pandemic, both in terms of mental and physical health impact. 

“Even when visits can take place, the strict safety and time restrictions, and physical distancing measures can be distressing and confusing for residents. While we understand the challenges of managing visiting, they can be far from ideal for older people, and particularly hard for those with visual or hearing impairments or conditions such as dementia.

“Of course, care homes are in the extremely difficult position of balancing health and safety with allowing residents to have this vital contact with their families and loved ones.

"Visiting arrangements can also vary between care homes depending on whether they have had Covid-19 cases, which adds another level of complexity.

“It is so important that relatives’ concerns are heard, and every effort is made to allow meaningful contact. Care homes must get all of the support they need from the Scottish Government, NHS and local authorities to ensure good quality indoor visiting is available.”

A Scottish Government spokesman said: “We understand the severe impact this pandemic has had on people’s lives across Scotland and that it has been a particularly difficult time for people living in care homes, and their loved ones.

“We strongly urge care home providers to work with their local Health Protection Team, care home oversight team and relatives and families of their residents to implement visiting guidance safely. We are constantly looking at ways to develop further opportunities to safely open up visiting against the backdrop of a second wave. 

“Essential visits should continue to be supported at all stages of the pandemic, in all areas, no matter the current Level. These are recommended to be generously supported where they will prevent or respond to a decline in residents’ wellbeing, help with communication or distress, and allow friends and relatives important time with loved ones in circumstances approaching end of life.

“Restrictions are kept under constant review, at all times guided by the latest available scientific and clinical evidence, and we want to ensure these are proportionate. We will continue to engage with people, including relatives of care home residents and care home providers.”